What started with a bad dream
ended with one of us crying on the bathroom floor.
One morning, Greer woke at 1:30am from a dream so disturbing she could barely speak about it.
By the time Aaron came in for a kiss and to check in,
her nervous system was already fraying at the edges.
She told him the dream. And then — before he'd had a chance to respond to it,
she shifted the conversation to an insignificant wildlife documentary.
What she didn’t see was an unconscious part of her that was afraid of the discomfort
around what she'd just shared, and she was trying to protect them both from it.
Aaron went quiet. Left the room.
When he re-entered, Greer immediately started talking about the tv show.
Aaron went quiet.
A few moments later, Greer sensed something was wrong & checked in with him:
"You keep talking at me,” he said bluntly
So Greer left the room. Came back and said,
"I feel like I've been punched in the guts.”
Aaron's reaction: “It’s all about you isn’t it?”
And the divide between them (or rather, us Greer & Aaron) escalated even more.
Between the two of us, this is what we do for a living.
We teach couples how to move through moments exactly this.
And we still got it extraordinarily wrong in the first ten minutes of an ordinary morning.
Here's the part that actually matters.
Despite the escalation we repaired. Fast.
Aaron went to the gym and came back regulated.
Greer ran a bath and soothed herself.
And then we used the same four-part communication framework we teach — what we saw, what we made it mean, what we felt, what we needed — and twenty minutes later we were in each other's arms, both of us saying "I'm sorry I hurt you" and meaning it.
Just because we teach and live this work, doesn’t mean we’re immune either.
Getting triggered is a part of being human in relationship with other humans.
But because we know what a trigger actually is, we can recognise it before it runs the whole show, and we have a process to find our way back to each other that doesn't require either of us to be perfect first and doesn’t take hours processing unnecessary drama.
That process — the exact one we used that morning
- is what we built the Triggers Mini-Course to teach you.
Most couples get stuck in 1 of 2 patterns:
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They avoid the conflict altogether — push it under the carpet, tell themselves they “shouldn't fight,” and let it quietly build into resentment
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Or they blow up, say the thing that hurts, and only feel close again once the storm has passed and make-up sex smooths it over
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Neither of those is what we're teaching. We're not showing you how to avoid the trigger — we're showing you what's actually happening in your brain and body when it hits, and exactly what to do once you're already in it. So it becomes a doorway back to each other, instead of a wedge between you.
What's inside the Triggers Mini-Course
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Three parts. Each one builds on the last — from understanding what's actually happening inside you, to knowing when it's safe to talk, to a process you can use the next time it happens.
Part 1: The Relational Brain
We can hand you every framework and strategy on the planet, but first we have to deal with the part of you that won't use them. This is where you learn to recognise which part of you (or your partner) is actually running the conversation.
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Meet the three parts of your brain that show up in every fight & how understanding your & your partner's primal needs changes everything
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Understand why your Adaptive Child isn't a toxic force to banish — it's the coping strategy that helped you survive childhood, and it becomes maladaptive once you're an adult in relationship
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Identify your dominant “losing strategy” and see how it's been quietly running your fights for years
Part 2: Humans, not Robots
Perfect love, imperfect relationship. We're not just thoughts and feelings — we're nervous system, body, mind and ancestry, all firing at once. This part is about getting your whole human on board, not just your mind.
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Learn why you have to regulate the body and nervous system before the mental and emotional parts of you can actually hear anything — no framework works on a dysregulated nervous system
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Use the Scale of Disregulation to know exactly where you are in the moment — from calm and clear right through to explosive — so you know when a conversation is actually safe to have, and when it will only make things worse
Part 3: The process that works
This is the process we used ourselves the morning of the story above. A three-stage repair sequence you can use every time.
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Stage 1 — Prepare & Permission: how to find enough regulation to shift out of your Adaptive Child, and how to check in and get consent before you share, so it never feels like a dump.
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Stage 2 — The Feedback Process itself: A simple four-part framework that leads you both to understand what the real upset is and what you both actually need.
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Stage 3 — Post-Process: how to be the listener who helps a repair actually land — acknowledge, validate, own your part — and how to resist the back-and-forth defending that reignites the exact fight you were trying to end
This Mini-Course is Serious Value!
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This is a genuine sneak peek into the modules we take couples through inside our private mentorship — condensed into a three-part series for couples who aren't ready for full mentorship yet, but are ready to stop repeating the same fight.
This Mini-Course is for You if you:
✅ And your partner keep having some version of the same fight, and you're tired of not knowing why
✅ Have noticed the gap between how fast one of you processes and how much space the other one needs — and it keeps causing friction
✅ Want real tools you can use in the moment, not just “communicate better” advice that falls apart the second either of you is actually triggered
✅Believe your relationship can be a place you come back to each other from, not just a place things go wrong
Doors are Opening THIS September!
And we have a BONUS for the first 50 sign-ups
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This 3-part course opens for sale the second week of September.
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Doors aren't open yet — but you can register your interest now.
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The first 50 people to buy when doors open will also get free access to Foundations of Awakened Intimacy [our foundational "Needs of Awakened Intimacy" training, valued at $198!] — because moving through triggers-work lands so much more easily when safety is already in place.