“How do I fix my relationship?”

When couples feel stuck, it’s common to ask:  “How do I fix my relationship?”

It's understandable. But it’s actually the wrong question.

Because your relationship isn’t a machine that breaks down.  It’s a living ecosystem.  And ecosystems don’t need “fixing”—they need nourishment.

So the better question is:  “What does our relationship need in order to thrive?”

This opens up an entirely different orientation.  Instead of hunting for faults and quick repairs, you begin to wonder about conditions:  – Do we have enough safety and trust?  – Are we making space for play and intimacy?  – Do we know how to soothe and support each other’s nervous systems?  – Are we giving our love the attention and energy it needs to flourish?

It’s less about fixing problems  and more about cultivating the conditions  for love to grow.

When you ask what your relationship needs, you step into a more creative, compassionate, and hopeful posture.

And from there, transformation becomes possible.